Big-Ass In-N-Out Coming to BLVD and Why You Should Stop Whining About the Fries

By Scott Roeben, on December 13 2024
3 min read 14 comments
Las Vegas Las Vegas Restaurants Las Vegas Shopping

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In-N-Out Burger, the fast food juggernaut with a massive cult following, is bringing a massive location to The BLVD, a new mall replacing the Hawaiian Marketplace on the Las Vegas Strip.

The restaurant will span 8,000 feet, making its dining room the largest in the chain’s history.

The In-N-Out is set to open in 2026, which is a flipping head-scratcher. It’s not the Taj Mahal. It’s not even the Garage Mahal. LFG, already.

In-N-Out fries are one of the best ways to make new friends.

Anyway, In-N-Out officially confirmed the new location on its Instagram page. Instagram is sort of the visual Twitter, but with an alien owner rather than a Bond villain.

The announcement said, “This restaurant will be over 8,000 square feet on one level and will offer dining room service and outdoor seating. The dining area will be larger than our typical restaurant, and special In-N-Out signage will feature our retro looks throughout the years. We’re also excited that a unique Company Store showcasing some popular In-N-Out items will open alongside the restaurant!”

You can tell In-N-Out is excited about the BLVD location because of the exclamation point and the use of “over” when they mean “more than.”

While the In-N-Out confirmation is way ahead of the restaurant’s scheduled opening date, the company probably needed to put the kibosh on A.I. renderings, many of which made the restaurant look like a three or even more far-fetched than renderings for the A’s ballpark. Or as the kids call it, horseshittery.

Here are the renderings shared by In-N-Out Burger . Instagram is the social media platform sort of like TikTok, the difference being Instagram isn’t being banned due to xenophobia.

We use A.I. renderings because real renderings are sort of boringish.

If you’re unfamiliar with In-N-Out Burger, the chain got its start in 1948 and was founded by Harry and Esther Snyder in Baldwin Park, California.

It’s touted as having been California’s first drive-thru hamburger stand. For many years, the restaurant was limited to California, but today In-N-Out operates more than 380 locations across a number of states including California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Texas, Oregon, Colorado and possibly others we didn’t have time to copy-and-paste from . In-N-Out is mostly on the left, or smarter, side of the country, Texas being the exception.

But Nevada is the most important location, because that’s the state containing the Las Vegas Strip, a place lacking good burgers for some reason. It’s pretty much about Gordon Ramsay Burger at Planet Hollywood and No Pants at Caesars Palace. Slim pickings. Ditto pizza. All the good pizza is downtown except for Superfrico at Cosmo and the new Swingers at Mandalay Bay.

There are a number of things that make In-N-Out Burger stand out: 1) The burgers are delicious, 2) the fries are widely criticized, and 3) there are random escort appointment times printed on the bottom of In-N-Out’s drinking cups.

We believe in the separation of church and everything.

We can help with the fries thing.

Just remember these four words: “Fries light well, please.” This phrase will change your life.

Just trust us on this one. We are a noted tuberous roots expert.

Do you know this blog at all?

Our high school band, Tuberous Roots, is credited with being the first all-virgin boy band.

We trust the In-N-Out at BLVD will offer its much-touted “secret menu” items. Let’s just say “secret” is used very loosely here.

Pretty much everyone knows the “Animal Style Burger” (grilled onions, extra spread and mustard-cooked beef patties), “Protein Style Burger” (low-carb option where the burger is wrapped in lettuce instead of a bun) and “Animal Style Fries” (topped with cheese, grilled onions and spread).

The people who order these items are what’s known in the restaurant business as “weirdos.” We’re pretty sure these orders slow everything down, so please don’t do that.

When In-N-Out comes to BLVD, it will be the second location on the Las Vegas Strip. The other is at Linq Promenade. Yes, we broke the news that location was in the works, not that everything has to be about us.

You can always spot an In-N-Out because of their signature crossed palm trees, which we’re pretty sure is a heretical abomination in the eyes of the Lord, but we try not to judge.

Anyway, the trees are a nod to In-N-Out founder Harry Snyder’s love of the 1963 movie “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.” In the film, palm trees marked buried treasure. The movie’s trees were shaped like a “W,” with the middle two crossed.

“It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World” is set in a mythical world where there is only in the entire United States of America.

Anyway, the In-N-Out at the BLVD shopping complex is some time off, and it’s also unclear when BLVD opens completely.

Everyone’s best guess is “early 2025.”

BLVD will have a range of shopping options, because if there’s anything Las Vegas is lacking, it’s shopping. Don’t get us started. Then again, anything’s better than the Hawaiian Marketplace, a venue less inviting than a Porta-Potty at food festival hosted by Taco Bell.

 

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